Girls and Phones

Us guys do some really stupid things. Check that, us guys do A LOT of stupid things. Because the list is so vast, I won’t even begin to list them here. Rest assured, when it comes to males and females, there is no doubt that males lack in the common sense department and make many more boneheaded mistakes and engage in much more disrespectful behavior than females. However…..no one is perfect, including women. I want to bring up an area in tonight’s post that I feel ladies can improve upon.

First off, let me lay it out here right now and say that I am addicted to my iPhone. I text probably a thousand times a day, tweet non-stop, Instagram like it is going out of style, check Facebook in meetings, google random things to answer questions, and sometimes I even use it to make/receive phone calls. Many people will say I look lost without my phone. In fact, at our work Christmas party, I received the “iPhone of the Year” award based upon the votes of my esteemed co-workers.

Addicted as I may be to my phone, there is a time when I can stop cold turkey, shove the device into my pocket, and act like I am not worrying about it. If I am on a date with a girl, hanging out with a girl, or just having a quick conversation with a girl, I am not touching/looking at my phone. Period.

Now I know I have went off on a couple rants before about things that irritate me about the opposite sex but I think my number one pet peeve might be the girl who can’t put her phone down. Let me just rattle off a few reasons why this behavior gets under my skin so much:

First off, it is disrespectful. When hanging out, you should concentrate your attention on the other person. There is nothing that puts up a middle finger to someone more than when you look down at your phone and start to type away. Especially if you are out on a date or if a guy is going the extra mile to treat a girl like a queen the best way to show him that you don’t really appreciate his efforts is to spend time on your hot pink cased cellular device. Do girls realize how inadequate it makes a guy feel? When I see a girl go to her phone right in the middle of us hanging out, I ask myself what I am doing wrong…it can shatter my confidence.  

Secondly, it is distracting. I hate nothing more than when I am engaged in a conversation with someone and all of a sudden she will say “I am sorry…one second.” She will look down at her phone, complete her text, and then look back up and say, “Okay…where were we?” Conversation completely ruined. It is hard to get back on track and even if the conversation does reignite, many times it is ruined once again by the exact same sequence. Oh yes, then there are the girls who will continue to try to keep the conversation going while they text. Really? You might as well just use the first cop out technique and take a timeout while you finish your phone business. I have no interest talking to you when your eyes are not looking at mine. I can’t talk to you when I know for a fact that your attention is elsewhere.

Thirdly, it is unnerving. I have no idea what you are doing on your phone. Are you telling your friend what a loser I am? Are you chatting with some other guy making plans for after this date is over? Are you playing a turn in “Draw Something”? Of course every girl will make it seem like it is no big deal and that they are just taking care of something but that is not what goes through our heads.

Of course, I have seen both ends of the spectrum when it comes to girls and cell phones. I have gone out with the ones who are absolutely amazing and put their phone in their purse and probably only look at it when I get up to go to the bathroom. Then there are the ones who will look at it occasionally throughout the night. These are the ones that really send your psyche through hoops. You feel like you have developed a good rapport and vibe with the girl and then all of a sudden she has to go to her phone and everything comes to a halt. Maybe there really wasn’t that connection you felt. Finally, there are the blatant violators who just don’t care and who will spend 75% of the time on their phone. I don’t stand for this.  I will call these rude people out and ask what is so important on their phone. If they can’t give me an answer along the lines of a family emergency I will let them know how I feel and then most likely pull my phone out for the duration of our time together.

Now I understand that just because a girl is on her phone does not necessarily mean that she is not interested in me. Conversely, I understand that just because she is not on her phone that it does not mean that she is interested in me. But come on, let’s just go back to the respect issue. No matter if you are in love with the guy or repulsed by him, just give him the decency of your undivided attention. Your phone, your texts, and your games will still be there at the end of the night.

Our society is chock-full of distractions. Many times, it is men who fall into the trap and let their attention be swayed by less important stimuli. We have a lot of work to do to improve. So while we chip away at the thousand things we need to do to get better, I am asking all females to focus on putting your phones down while you are out on your next date or just engaging in a ten  minute discussion. It would make us guys feel much more appreciated and significant. Thanks. Don’t Blink.