Ever since I started this blog, I have wanted to do a post on the gym. I typically make it to our campus recreation center about five times a week so it is definitely a big part of my life…not that you can tell by looking at me. Of course, I have wanted to write on the people who go to the gym. I thought long and hard about making this an insult grenade filled post directed at the people who I can’t stand who go to the gym and the people who have absolutely no business setting foot in a gym in the first place but I have decided to refrain. Let’s face it, that type of post has been done so much. Who has not read about ten different times the typical rant about “the creatures of the gym?” Who has not read the various categorical summaries of workout slackers? Who has not read the judgment of a workout king inflicted upon the inferior peons who try to take over his workout session?
It is just a tired subject.
So in my quest to try to offer something unique in this blog and to stick to my pledge to make a better effort to offer more positive posts, I want to recognize the gym all-stars who I see each and every day who aspire me to pick up my game and work harder. I am going to use a categorical format, only because I feel I can recognize them the best this way.
The String Bean Work-A-Holic Wonder:
Gender: Male
Age Demographic: 18-24
The String Bean Work-A-Holic Wonder (SBWAHW) is the kid who I see at the gym who does not have the million dollar body, not even a thousand dollar body, but doesn’t really even care in the first place. He is a scrawny fellow who wears race t-shirts from 1996 and shorts that are pulled up a little too much. Many of these kids have shaved heads. He is there simply to push himself day in and day out because he likes the challenge and realizes the benefits of a tough workout regimen. From my observation, this is the type of kid who ran cross country and track but also wrestled as a lightweight while in high school. Basically, the SBWAHW is a tough kid who has a clear idea on how far one’s body can be pushed. He works out alone and does a lot of body resistance exercises. He is constantly on the pull up bar and he lives on the mats doing push ups and crunches. He works out with circuit type weights, doing a lot of high rep-low weight sets. Yes, he is awkward if you ever got into a conversation with him but he stays out of everyone’s way and is always very respectful.
The Antithesis: The skinny guy who comes in wearing a dirty t-shirt and jeans who has no idea what he is doing.
The Rock Solid Hottie With A Body:
Gender: Female
Age Demographic: 18-26
The Rock Solid Hottie With A Body (RSHWAB) is the drop dead gorgeous girl who even the most dedicated, focused gym dude can’t help but look at when she walks into the gym. She wears a tight tank top and figure flattering pants that highlight her assets but she has every right in the world to come dressed to the gym like that. She knows that every guy is looking at her when she walks into the facility and she might make one or two unnecessary trips up and down the gym floor but other than that she is all business. The RSHWAB will get on the elliptical for a tough thirty minutes and then do a quick spinning session and then work her abs for twenty minutes. Next, she will get in her anaerobic workout while working a lot with dumb bells and the various cable weight machines. She will do dips with added weight resistance. She will work the calf machine. She will then get on the treadmill, then run the track, and then do another session of abs. The RSHWAB will put in a 2 ½ to 3 hour workout every day. She will be there when I show up and she will still be going hard when I leave. This girl knows she’s got it going on and she is not going to give that up anytime soon. The thought of gaining two or three pounds scares the living daylights out of her.
The Antithesis: The skanky group of girls who come in way too little clothes and way too much makeup who go to the gym simply to be looked at by guys.
The Ripped Obsessive Body Builder:
Gender: Male
Age Demographic: 18-26
The Ripped Obsessive Body Builder (ROBB) is that guy who is at the gym who every guy wishes he could look like. The ROBB is 100% lean with amazing biceps, 8-pack chiseled stomach, defined legs, and a powerful chest. He is on at least seven supplements and he is probably on roids but he works his ass off to make sure all of that unnatural shit he is putting in his body is going to work for him. This guy comes into the gym focused solely on making his body his temple. He puts up incredible amounts of heavy weight and in between his grueling sets he is doing something aerobic such as jumping rope or running laps around the track. Even though he is focused and easily the most imposing person in the gym, he is a nice guy with good gym etiquette. He politely answers the people who wonder up to him and ask what type of program he is on. He does not find it beneath him to spot someone who is putting up 200 pounds on the bench press. This guy will stop the whole gym with the amount of weight he puts up. People will look wide eyed as his veins look like they are about to burst. It is hard to miss this guy because he will come into the gym about three different times a day.
The Antithesis: The big dude who struts around in the gym with his gallon milk jug full of whatever sugary supplement he is taking. He brings a posse of goons to spot him the few times he actually decides to do a set and to talk to him all the rest of the time. His hair is gelled back and he wears a wife beater…he looks like a Jersey Shore reject.
The Body Conscious Noble Professional:
Gender: Male/Female
Age Demographic: 40-58
The Body Conscious Noble Professional (BCNP) is the man or woman who has worked out their whole life and are not about to stop now. These people are successful in the real world and they understand that their effectiveness in business corresponds with their looks/physical physique. I saw many BCNPs when I worked out at Gold’s Gym and I see my fair share now at my campus gym (most of these people are professors). Usually, these people put themselves through a tough grind of aerobic and anaerobic exercises. They have a time of the day that they go to the gym and they stick to it. Many of these people work out early in the morning so they can go right to their job after their workout and then back to their family after work. BCNPs bring the work ethic that enabled them to have professional success into the gym with them. They are not slouches. Many of them run marathons or participate in triathlons. These people are always very nice, have perfect gym etiquette, and will treat the younger people in the gym very well. They serve as great examples for people like me.
The Antithesis: The arrogant, cocky middle age guy who belongs to the gym for the sole reason of saying he belongs to a gym. He talks on his cell phone while “working out”, rests for long periods on the equipment, and always buys a protein shake that does jack shit for him after every workout.
The Golden Aged You Can’t Ever Stop Me Old Timer :
Gender: Male/Female
Age Demographic: 70 and up
The Golden Aged You Can’t Ever Stop Me Old Timer (GAYCESMOT) is the elderly man or woman who hits the gym because he/she is not going to sit around in a house all day as their body goes downhill. These people are a little slow and you might have to have a little bit of extra patience as you navigate around them at the gym but then you realize “Hey, this person is 80 and he is still making the effort to get some exercise in, that’s pretty cool.” Some of these GAYCESMOTs are still putting forth amazing efforts and are in great shape while some are not as impressive. For a lot of these people, pride is a huge factor in them hitting the gym. GAYCESMOTs might not have the best gym etiquette just because they simply do not know basic guidelines but they are so overjoyed and thankful to see young people that they will treat you like gold and make your day. Not bad in my book.
The Antithesis: No antithesis for this one.
Any gym will have its fair share of losers but there are also the people who work extremely hard who I would love to have in my corner in a variety of different situations, inside the gym and outside the gym. I feel the gym crowd is really a microcosm of society as a whole. The next time you are in the middle of a workout and you become depressed at some of the dead wood around you, just try to ignore them. Instead, look at some of the shining stars around you and challenge yourself to work harder than that person. Don’t Blink.
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